Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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