you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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