i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
