It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
