Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just saw a hot homeless man
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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