Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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