she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
