I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize