I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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