I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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