i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
either way he was missing a nipple.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
