I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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