Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize