let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Boobs are out for the taking
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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