Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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