can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
