We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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