yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
