Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize