i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
