I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
