Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
