At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
