At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
