so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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