yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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