This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Dicks are not precious.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
