He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
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I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
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I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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