I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
