her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He better not be in your backpack
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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