New low: just hacked my moms facebook
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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