I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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