she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
