what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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