If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I just blew my weed a kiss
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
