You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
