what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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