so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
