Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
