watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
