They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
