dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
