you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
