and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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