I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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