i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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