Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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