I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize