The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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