"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
