2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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