I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just google imaged poop.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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