New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
