Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I have fence marks all over my body
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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