Moan for me like Helen Keller
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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