you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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