"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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