he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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