Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Holy shit dude........stairs
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
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