you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i love accidental penises.
you win again, gameday.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
