i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
