There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment