Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.